Paid-Search Agencies: Leading Experts in Being Leading Experts

Two rival paid-search agencies find a way to stand out. Then a way to certify it. Then someone needs an ad.

Rick Hecker

Rick Hecker

— 2 min read
Two pleased agency owners pin gold rosettes onto each other’s already crowded jackets; the ribbons tangle between them across a table with a laptop and coffee.

Cascader

Mara and Dev run rival paid-search agencies. Both have a pitch at four. Neither wants to sound like an agency with a pitch at four.

An invented comic. Mara wears teal; Dev wears rust.

Monday, 9:02 a.m.

Mara’s agency and Dev’s agency show identical ads: Leading Paid Search Experts. Both have a reminder: Pitch today, 4 PM.

Mara: We just need people to feel they’re in safe hands.

Dev: Exactly.

9:17 a.m.

Mara changes her headline to Experts Who Lead The Experts. An arrow carries it to Dev’s identical ad. Both press Save.

Mara: Now we’re different.

Dev: Now we’re different.

Tuesday

Mara’s endorsement says Recommended by Dev, signed D. Dev’s says Recommended by Mara, signed M. Underneath: Two expert opinions.

Dev: Who are the experts?

Mara: I was hoping you’d say something nice about us.

Dev: Of course. You’ve been doing this for years.

Mara: You too.

Wednesday

Both endorsements now have gold frames reading Leading Expert, one for Mara and one for Dev. Between them is a large official seal. The stamp is labelled Independent.

Dev: We can’t keep endorsing each other on the phone.

Mara: You’re right. It looks better with a seal.

Thursday

Mara and Dev, wearing gold rosettes, flank Sam in purple beneath a sign: Association of Leading Experts. Sam’s nameplate reads Director.

Dev: Who makes it independent?

Mara: We’ll hire Sam.

Dev: Sam used to work for both of us.

Mara: Perfect. No favourites.

Friday

Sam sits beside a stack of Leading Expert certificates and a Certification Department sign. Admission rules: 1. Has certificate. 2. See rule 1. Below Sam: Promoted.

Sam: How will I know who qualifies?

Dev: They’ll have a certificate.

Sam: Who issues those?

Mara: You. Congratulations on the promotion.

A month later

Sam teaches How to Stand Out. Mara and Dev now wear three rosettes each. Both ad previews say We Don’t Do Buzzwords.

Sam: Tell people what makes you different.

Mara: We don’t do buzzwords.

Dev: We don’t do buzzwords.

Sam: Excellent. Fits in a headline.

The following Monday

Mara and Dev are no longer wearing their rosettes. Both open notebooks marked New Client Brief. An incoming call is labelled Sam.

Sam: Can you help with our ads?

Mara: A brief!

Dev: What’s the business?

Sam: Leading Expert Certification.

3:58 p.m.

The Association’s ad claims The Leading Expert Certifier. Its gold Leading Certifier certificate is awarded to The Association and signed by Mara and Dev. Both wear rosettes again. Copy approved. Deadline: 4 PM. Time: 3:58 PM.

Dev: Who said the Association’s the leading certifier?

Mara: We did.

Dev: Oh, good.